Think we might have went into an awkward period. I have no idea why since our communication effectively broke down over the last few days. Intermittent messages come and go with no clear link between the hosts. We're some lost sheep, or maybe I am the lost one.

I thought I understand you a little though I can't really say I know you. Knowing somebody isn't a one day two day kind of thing. It takes commitment from both side to really understand the good and the bad. However, recently you are more distant to me that I would have thought. You're like a total stranger now and I don't even have a slight understanding about how you're thinking anymore. Well, this isn't your fault. One only have himself to blame for diving head in first. What makes me stand out from him? What can I offer than he can't? What more can he offer that I can't? I know the answer best myself and its nothing as hell.

I've had opinions and think that it may very well be true. I was reluctant to believe at first and was even in the state of denier but I suppose there no more avoiding the reality. They're right infront of my eyes. Even now, I still wish it isn't true. Can it be that I'm actually just your spare tire? Am I just somebody who is part of your entertainment? I believe you're the good person but all these negative thoughts keep pushing thru. Should I continue to trust you unconditionally or should I steer clear and exit for good?

This is another freaking nemo + elmo post ever. Would I read back this entry 5 years later like what I just did for my entries 5 years ago, thinking how stupid I was back then? What would become of us 5 years later? Would the history repeat itself since life is just a cycle?

P.S - I should have been fighting for you, fighting hard for you but I just am not able to do it..
P.P.S - Just noticed that I have been using a lot of "but", "not able" etc etc. This post sure comes from a damn negative person... oh well